I just finished up my junior year of college, but it was my first semester actually living on-campus with a roommate. After a VERY interesting year, I thought I'd share some of the things I learned about living with someone new. I especially wanted to save these for later because I'm going to need them when FI move in together after the wedding I'm sure!
Your roommate is not your clone.
Your roommate is not going to be exactly like you. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with them.
Try to withhold judgment for at least the first month of living together.
All these false fronts go up because you don't know each other that well at first. Heck, I made my bed every day for the whole first month because my roommate was SO tidy that I'm pretty sure she was cleaning the toilet AT LEAST once a week, whether it needed it or not)
Take the time to get to know them.
Once the weird first month goes by, chances are you're going to realize you have more in common than you think. There was a teacher at my high school who taught freshman, and she paired everyone up and made them sit there and come up with 40 things they had in common. It was TORTURE in high school, but a useful skill in college.
Be humble.
You have flaws too. So when you're making that mental list of all the annoying things your roommate does, remember that they probably have a mental list too. Understand that you're probably messing up as much as you think they are, and own up to it when you realize that.
Talk it out.
Living with someone new is always a weird kinda unique experience. It's a lot to take in all at once, so sometimes you have to be straightforward about what's bothering you, NICELY. They may not even realize their doing the thing that drives you nuts. Then again...they may just think you're crazy because this thing drives you nuts. Only one way to find out!
Become a good listener. Talk out your problems together so you can actually handle living together BUT if you aren't BOTH actively developing your listening skills, this "discussion" can turn into a screaming match FAST.
Say you're sorry.
When things get out of hand, the best way to knock down the pride-walls between you and your roommate is to just to apologize. It's awkward and it means admitting you were wrong, but it's the fastest way to get it over with instead of being like, "If I let enough time go by......they will have forgotten about this little incident, and then I don't have to say anything!" Don't wait a little while, it could wreck a potential friendship.
Do stupid things together!Some of the best bonding experiences I had with my roommate was washing dishes in our bathtub, cooking in our coffee maker, and admitting to the world via YouTube that we had ruined our carpet with bleach.
(Watch the video Here)
And other students thought it was kinda gross and weird and we felt like it was US AGAINST THE WORLD!! Which it totally wasn't, but it brought us together, and now everyone secretly wants to know how to cook in the coffee maker.
Did I miss something? Share your own advice for new roomies in the comment box below!
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